Lyps Massage Wand

“What are you taking pictures of??” 

“My new neck massager, Dad.”

“Okay, looks neat.” 

So I ordered the Lyps massage wand on Tuesday. Like way too early in the morning on Tuesday. I ordered it through Amazon cause that’s what Lyps sells through (and I am a firm believer that Amazon is okay for most things as long as you really research) and y’all. It’s. Already. Here. It got here before 1:30 in the afternoon. Amazon is scary.

EDIT: Since writing this review a friend told me exactly why I shouldn’t buy sex toys off of Amazon. PLEASE do not buy sex toys on Amazon, you cannot be sure that you’re getting a legitimate, un-used, product.

Okay, when I say I want discreet packaging THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. Just a plain, solid color box with the brand name on it. It looks classy, it doesn’t look like a sex toy at all, there was no need for black plastic surrounding the box. I LOVE IT.

This is all that was on the back. That’s it. See, classy as hell. I am so excited about this packaging, y’all, so excited. Full marks on packaging discreetness!

There’s nothing overly cute about this wand, but there’s also nothing overtly not-cute either. This isn’t meant to be the statement piece of your toy box, though, this is just your good ol’ massage wand.

It also comes with its own bag! The bag is nice and velvety and is just black with the brand name in pink.

See? Cute in a utilitarian way, I think.

The wand really is meant to have a double appeal: both the head and the handle vibrate. They do it separately, too, which is nice. There are lights for the power button (just hitting that will turn it onto “standby” if it’s off or turn it off if it’s on) and the button closer to the head controls that, and the one closer to the tail controls that. Simple, intuitive. The head is meant for that wide range of stimulation and has much more of a rumble to its vibrations, while the handle has a nice tapered end that gets to more specific spots, and has a much more buzzy feeling. I kind of really wish the handle could also do rumbly vibrations as I found myself missing them when I was using that side.

The motor on this thing is really pretty quiet! The high intensity vibrations just pass the “can I hear this through the door” test, so you should be good if you need to be discreet. I didn’t really have any expectations of quietness since this is my first wand, but the wand was advertised as having a quiet motor, so I expected the first few settings to at least pass the test, and having all three meet expectations is definitely a good sign!

This wand is super easy to clean! It’s waterproof and there aren’t a lot of grooves or anything to it. There are a few basic instructions in the little pamphlet that comes with the wand but it’s mostly what cleaners not to use and warnings not to clean while the wand is charging.

Speaking of charging… I FINALLY HAVE MY RECHARGABLE TOY. I’m so happy to finally have one, oh my word!

Charging is super super simple, plug in the USB side to your computer and the pointy bit into the wand. The lights on the function and power buttons flash while charging and stay steady once it’s done. A full charge takes about two hours, which really doesn’t seem too bad.

Those were my initial thoughts on it, and after almost two months, I’m still super happy with it! It practically lives on my nightstand instead of in my toy box, and is by far my number one go-to toy.